Well usual 6monthe check with rhumatology yesterday and has been a lot of mixed emotions after being with them for my half hour appointment. My husband and I asked them the one question, “if want another child how would it effect my body due to the illness?” The answer was not really want we were hoping for, I have a 1 in 3 chance of my body in either direction due to the illness. My body may either: stay the same, go into remission or get worse.

Being told this it has made us think that we have to be stronger than ever when the time comes to thinking about having another child, as I am going to need more support and help with everything. There is no research to prove that any one of these circumstances can occur , that is the harding thing with being told the possible outcomes.

I have spent the morning reading the article below which is quite interesting in understanding what can occur during pregency. I am quite emotional with all of it as what ever happens when we decide for another child it will be uncertain as to what will happen during the pregnancy.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4516109/

Well if your illness is anything like mine where you never know when you are going to have a flare up which will result in you not being good for a few days, you have to think ahead with meal plans etc. I would say to anyone if you can batch cook, it makes life easier when you aren’t feeling great plus it keeps you organised with what food you have in your home.

Once a month my husband and me (when pay day has just been) do a big shop in our local Farm Foods, Aldi and even Costco once a month. We do little shops each week for fresh sandwich things etc. Once we have done our food shopping,to think ahead we batch cook a stock pile of meals for the entire month. We work out how many meals we need, this month we only needed to cook 20 meals as payday is 3 weeks away and for 1 week we are away for most of it visiting family.

Meals frozen:-

Sausage casserole,  sweet and sour chicken, chicken curry (various flavours), slow cooked beef stew, honey and mustard chicken, chicken in mushroom sauce, Meatballs in tomato sauce,  Bolognaise, individual lasagne, egg fried rice, keegan rice, beef in black beand sauce.

We do have things like battered fish and pizzas which are good for anow easy meal after a hectic day in work or as a treal night.

The picture above is all our meals cooked for the remainder of this month along with cooked rice. When I am on a bad day cooking doesn’t have to be hardwork, it’s simply take a container out in the morning so that it can defrost while we are in work. By the time we have picked up our daughter from her auntie, got home and got changed out of our uniforms, dinner can be done in less than 30 minutes. Plus by batch cooking we know exactly what has gone into that meal and know all of us are getting a good, wholesome meal.

I know it is time consuming as this takes us nearly all day to do a whole months coking but we know it is beneficial in the long run. We get more quality time as a family knowing dinners in the evenings are not a chore or a tough decisions on what to cook. Helps me when I am on a flare up knowing a meal can  be taken out the freezer, defrosted then cooked with no hassle.

The image above some sums up how people do not see how a flare up effects you within. I have flare ups that occur with no warning sometimes or my skin can start to go dry and itchy. My flare up last week knocked me for 6 as when I do have a flare up I have noticed that my stomach becomes upset and uncomfortable. During a flare up fatigue kicks in more along with not feeling yourself. You feel as if you just want to hide away and not do anything. Which in fair rest is the best for of medicine when you do not feel yourself but when you have a home to look after and a 2 year old in tow it isn’t easy to spend a day on the sofa resting. The housework can wait but my 2 year old wants my attention and wants me to spend time with her. She does not understand at the moment that when mummy is unwell she can not do much with her but I know deep down over time as she gets older she will get to understand mummy needs her help more sometimes.

Well it’s been a while since my last post and things have been getting on top of me that are out of my control. Having this silent chronic illness does frustrate me because I manage to work 40 hours a week, make sure my little one and husband are happy and good along with looking after the house ie washing, cleaning etc then seeing others with just laziness doing sod all and moaning about doing things. I do find it hard not worrying about what others are doing and being critical of it all.

Well since I started writing this post a few days ago I have been reading a book called “over coming mood swings: self help guide using CBT by Jan Scott”. I have terrible mood swings which I never know half the time what causes them. But I have found since reading this book I have been having less Moddershall swings and lashing out at my other half. When just do have a mood swings I will sit with my journal and write down what has caused me to have this mood swing and look at how I can come over not having the same mood swings again over the same thing.

Well what can I say…..

After attending mixed clinicians clinic the other week I have thought to myself this week “why have I not changed my medication to injection form before?” I’ve had 1 injection this week of methotrexate and I have to say I am not feeling half the side effects I did when I was on the tablet form. Yes my dosage is lower at the moment and building back up but not feeling like crap and nausea the day after taking the medication is a relief. My job on a Monday and Friday is to check people into a holiday village resort and that is sometimes a struggle being up and down for entire shift so stomach gets shaken about which resulted in nausea but yesterday was a new Story!  I got to half way through my shift and realised I had not taken any sickness tablets to help me through the day, which then had me thinking that the nausea effect was easing. To even have a colleague comment that you look a lot brighter today makes you feel happy within 😀

We all feel the same with being on methotrexate and having a silent illness because you do feel there is not a person who understands what you are going through. People can ask how you feel and if everything is alright but st the end of the day a person with a silent illness puts on a brave face and hides how they truly feel. You might be feeling really crap and not wanting to do anything but you know deep down you have to just get on with life and not let the illness get the better of you.

I’m a full time mum to a nearly 2 year old and I work 40 hours a week plus I am juggling my illness so now and again it does get a little too much and I feel just want to get away from it all. But I know after going through pre eclampsia at 28 weeks with my daughter along with my husband who is my rock with everything, I would not be the person I am today. I am a fighter who will not let my illness get the better of me, I will try anything and everything to help me with day to day life.

As a family we have invested in a caravan so that we can have cheap holidays away which results in quality time together. It isn’t a spectacular, top of range caravan but it is a cute, little caravan which will give us memorable holidays.

Living with RA has its daily battles from being stiff and not able to move, feeling constantly fatigue or just not feeling yourself. It is hard to get yourself motivated to do the daily house tasks that need to be done after finishing you full time job for the week. I know my days are never ending what with working full time and having a 20 month old toddler who is constantly on the go. She is currently going through restless nights which does not help with feeling fatigue as sleep deprivation along with feeling fatigue with the illness makes you feel even more emotional than usual and you feel you want to hide away from everything.

Each day has to be taken 1 step at a time as no day is the same when you suffer with a silent chronic illness. When your on a good day you feel great because you know nothing is standing in your way.

Spending quality family time makes any struggle go away because when you are struggling with things your family are always there to help.

I am sorry it’s been a while since I’ve blogged last but have had a few hectic weeks not to mention being struck down with a tummy bug, which isn’t good when you take your medication oral.

Lately life has been chucking itself in to full swing with knowing you have a busy few weeks ahead with holidays coming up, warmer weather resulting in the garden needing to be sorted, but amongst all that it’s putting aside time to relaxing and ease the aches and pains away. Having arthritis has meant having to adapt things to help with daily living which in time ensures I can still be kept mobile while having the illness.

Heat is the best way to ease the joints so will admit bought one of those lazy spa hot tubs to go in the garden which is used every day for nearly an hour. While in the warm water it makes it easier doing hand exercises due to the ease of the joints being warmed up.

I know the unpleasantness of having arthritis is the medication side. Im currently on methotrexate tablets but am converting hopefully to injection form as the unpleasant nausea side effect is starting to get to me as it’s all the time feeling sick. But always a downside to taking some medication, they not always effective on their own! Which is were sulfizalazine comes in to play once OK with injecting methotrexate. The two medications together will hopefully help ease the pain and soreness, which in turn means a better day to day living.

Life can be hard with a silent illness like arthritis because no one sees what it’s like on the inside living with it. I know I put on a brave face and look as if nothing is wrong with me, when sometimes I am living daily with pain but just have to get on with life.

Coming to the end of April and the last few days have been glorious – sunny and lovely, warm temperatures. So instead of being stuck indoors I decided to take my niece and daughter to one of the local attractions by us which is loved he every one – Folly Farm. It is the ideal place where a family of any ages can go for a leisurely walk and admire all the animals they have there. It is nice to walk round doing light exercise in the warm sunshine.

I currently attend physiotherapy and am told any exercise I want to do has to be light to start with hen gradually increase so that I do not cause significant damage to my joints. Walking around the park does not feel like you are doing exercise because your mind is preoccupied by all the animals around you.

While walking round I came across a very inspirational quote that was in the Africa section where the lions were; you never think walking around a family day out place inspirational quotes would be found around the park.

This is the one type of weather that anyone with arthritis look forward to as joints are not constantly feeling cold which then relates to feeling stiff, in pain which then changes your mood to feeling negative. I know when it is cold my joints feel stiff, sore and simple tasks are hard to accomplish.

My job does involve working  in cold conditions some days, when I’m on these shifts I make sure I wear extra layers so that I do not feel the cold as much. When I am feeling cold I do consume a high amount of hot drinks to make myself feel warmer. No one likes feeling cold especially someone who suffers with the silent illness of arthritis. When you feel down due to the weather you deep down wish you were just like a normal person who when they felt the cold warmed up then felt fine.